Missed Opportunities Won't Hold Me Back

A few weeks ago I enrolled my kids into new schools. We had been homeschooling for the past two years so this was a very new and exciting adventure for all of us. My oldest son Alex will be starting his freshman year at the high school this year. I was given an appointment time to meet with the guidance counselor so we could figure out what classes he would be in. Nine AM I pull up to the school wearing khakis and a flowery blouse and he is in a polo shirt, his hair trimmed short and glasses. The counselor walks us through the halls to her office and we all take a seat. Without even looking at last years transcripts she starts off saying "most parents think their kids are actually better than they are and their child suffers for it". I explain I am not that parent. Alex has struggled in school and I would rather his education come a little easier and build his confidence. She says, "ok, you just need to pick what level class you want: basic, honors or advanced" I don't hesitate and answer basic. I don't want him to struggle. She gives me a half smile and clears her throat. She continues, "the kids in basic classes...how should I put this?  Have troubles...why don't you look at the options again" I turn to Alex and ask, "are you up for honors classes." He says he is ready for them so that settles it. The counselor gives him a smile and a wink. "So now for an elective and an extra curricular...band? And maybe ROTC?" she says with a nod.  "Sure" he replies, "I would like both of those."

My head begins to spin. I am overcome with joy for my son who is moving forward with what appears to be a promising future and saddened by my own missed opportunities. I realize now that our appearance has given my son a predetermined future. I never even met with a high school guidance counselor when I was his age. They gave up on me before I ever had a chance.

The summer before 8th grade I was in my room while my mom and step dad fought. It sounded like any other fight that at some point in the night would involve alcohol, prescription drugs, suicide attempts or the cops. I went on with what I was doing as I had grown accustomed to the screaming and breaking glass. As it turns out tonight would be different. My mom calls for me and tells me to leave out the back door quickly. She had her purse but I had nothing. I left behind every possession that night to include my dog. We walked down the street and sat on the curb. It was getting dark and we didn't live in the greatest of neighborhoods. That night we ended up on the apartment floor of an acquaintance of my moms. The next day my mom made some phone calls and got us put on a list through the city that declared us homeless. I am not real sure why but we didn't go to a shelter. We went to a little Motel 6 that had one bed and a bathroom and nothing else. Not even a microwave or refrigerator. That was home for the next three months. That's also where I lived when I started the 8th grade which happened to be a new school. I met with the guidance counselor and she made sure that I was with other kids that were like me so I would fit in. I was predestined. I entered my first class and sat down. I was surrounded by kids wearing all black, dark eye liner and visible scars. These were my people. The kids from the other side of the tracks. I was oblivious (until recently) to the fact that there were children who were predetermined to have futures. Those kids had band, baseball or cheer leading. You name, they had it. At the end of my school day the kids in my class hopped the fence into the cemetery so they could smoke and drink. It was predetermined that my people had no value or future and that's how they lived. When I started high school the next year I got my schedule from the front desk. I never met with a guidance counselor. I didn't even know the school had one. Not one teacher talked to me about college. My sophomore year my first period class was science. The boys at my table were looking at there cocaine through a microscope as the teacher walked by and said nothing. It had been decided in advance that my people had no future so why bother trying. That week I withdrew from public school and started homeschooling. I graduated high school and a few years later attempted college. Can you guess how I did on my placement test? Eighth grade. My scores were the equivalent of an eighth grader. I wasn't really surprised though because that is the year it was decided in advance that I had no real future.

My sophomore year some things really changed for me. I was invited to church and started reading my bible. I learned that all those teachers were wrong. They couldn't predetermine, predestine or decide in advance what my future held because God had already claimed that role. Ephesians 1:3-6 says

		All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.
		Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
		God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.
		So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.

No matter how hard they try, someone cannot decide my future or yours because (Ephesians 1:5) in love he predestined us for adoption. (Psalm 147:3) He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.( Psalm 23:3) He guides me along the right paths. (Jeremiah 29:11)  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Praise God that when my son struggles in school I don't have to worry because God has a plan. Praise God that when my daughter has behavior problems I don't have to worry because God has her future laid out. Praise God that my newly adopted sons won't be controlled by their horrible past because God plans to prosper them, give them hope and a future. Whatever your struggle is, whatever is in your past you can let it go and not let it control who you are today and everyday after. You are a child of God! He loves you and has plans for you!