When I compare my ability to parent with societies standards I appear to be doing great! Then I compare myself to God's standards and I don't fare too well. It's God's standard that means the most to me so I need to be careful not to get caught up in looking around at the world and thinking,"yep, I've got it all together." Instead I need to be in God's word often and in quiet solitude reflecting on what God expects of me. God is the only perfect parent so I can conclude that I should be doing everything in my power to live in His image. The only way to do that is to know God intimately by studying his word and by being in constant communication with Him.
I came to Christianity a little later in life at the whopping age of 16 so there were many things about the bible that I desired to know. One thing I always pondered was if the old law could not save us and so Jesus came and gave us a new covenant then why should we even bother with the old testament. As I have matured I have found many reasons for the old testament such as the foretelling of Christ and the great examples of God's followers. However, when I became a parent I found an all new purpose for the old testament and I call it "old testament parenting". Most of the old testament tells story after story of God changing people from the outside in. How many people in the bible can you think of right off the bat that God said, "do this" and that person said "nope, not gonna do it" and God gave a swift and memorable consequence. Let's just consider Adam and Eve. They live in the best place ever and comfortably spend every waking moment in the presence of God. He has rules in place and when they break that rule God disciplines them immediately. Notice God didn't sit down and have a heart to heart. Instead, he tells them what they did wrong and gives them immediate consequences in hopes that they will make better choices in the future.
I use old testament parenting from around one year of age until around the preteen years depending on the maturity of the child. During this time I am shaping the way my child behaves outwardly. It's kind of a 'fake it till you make it' thing. These are the years your child is learning right from wrong and what kinds of behavior are appropriate for different places. Your four year old doesn't want to sit in church and that's okay. He can fake it until he is old enough for his heart to be molded to want to be there. My job as a parent is to say, "I expect you to sit and behave appropriately for your age in this situation whether you like it or not. If you do not behave there will be consequences." Keep in mind that God gave Adam and Eve the expectation of what they are to do and then gave an immediate consequence. It doesn't matter where I am or how many times we have done it I tell my kids what my expectations are and if they don't do it there is an immediate consequence. Of course your child would like a few warnings. I bet Adam and Eve would have liked one too. But that isn't who the God of the old testament is. The only time I give a warning is if my child has done something I don't approve of and I had not given prior expectations. Once that expectation is given and they don't do it, immediate consequence.
If at all possible you should allow a natural consequence to take place or give a consequence that correlates with the behavior you are trying to correct. It should also be uncomfortable enough to bring about change. Behave badly in the garden and you don't get to go there anymore and on top of that you have some grueling work to do. There should be times you get creative with the consequence. Don't forget God has a creative side, just look at the design of the mountains at sunset or check out a stick bug. I love how he handled Jonah when he didn't obey. God's response, "let's see how you like being swallowed by a gigantic fish for 3 days. How's that for a creative time out.
God's presence is very evident in the old testament. It's the only time when He spoke directly to people and allowed his presence to be seen. Be available to your little ones. You hear it all the time but it really is true that they are only little for a short time. Walk with them and talk with them as God does in the old testament. Be near and available for this time won't last long.
Continue to read the old testemant as it is rich in examples of the Father who know best!
