God will give you what you ask for, whether you like it or NOT!

As a military wife and a mother of 5 you can say that we have had our ups and downs in life. Ups are wonderful but it is the downs that I learn how to have a greater faith. I have been told over and over by friends that I should write my life events down and yet like most things I have procrastinated. So here we go, a new journey begins. I hope that through my writings I can continue to gain prospective along with laugh, cry and learn with those willing to join me. Some of my writings will be about things in my past, while others will be current events. So hang onto your seats and lets begin!

I began thinking about life as a journey about 6 years ago. I was living in southern Illinois on an Air Force base with my husband and four handsome boys. When my youngest was born I was told I couldn't have any more kids. I was fine with that, 4 boys in 5 years was plenty for me. But around the time that my youngest son Cooper was 6 months old I started thinking about all that I was missing not having a little girl. So one day while riding in the car I asked my husband Jason this question, "don't answer me now but will you pray about and consider adopting a little girl?" Jason thought I was crazy to even consider such a thing and did NOT give me an answer. A year later he was reading a book about a Colonial in the Air Force that had retired and opened an orphanage in foreign country. Before getting dressed for work he prayed that God would give him an open heart to follow His will no matter what. He wanted God to bring something into his life that would help him to serve and follow God in a way that would change lives. He left for work and our day started as normal. Then the phone rang. A friend of mine called to tell me that someone she went to church with had a niece that was having a hard time coping with her pregnancy. They thought if someone was willing to adopt her unborn baby girl that she might be able to get through what life had to offer her. I quickly got off the phone and called Jason. I asked him what he thought and he told me we would talk when he got home. I anxiously waited for him. When he finally got home he spouted out in frustration , "Fine! Call them and tell them we will adopt the baby!" I was excited but really confused by his willingness and frustration. He told me he couldn't say no because he made a promise to God that morning that no matter what God brought to him he would do it. I called my friend and told her that we would adopt the baby. It was only a short time before I got to meet Christy. She had a little boy that was the exact same age as Cooper. They were both 17 months old and born on the same day. She was 8 months pregnant and desperately seeking some help. I told her that I felt God led us to her and we would help her get on her feet or adopt the baby. Whatever it was that she was needing we would be there for her. A friendship quickly developed between the two of us. She said she wanted us to adopt the baby but then just before she delivered she changed her mind and asked me to be her labor coach. I had agreed. The delivery took place in the middle of the night and I stayed with her through the delivery and sat with her holding this beautiful baby girl for several hours. Jason was being deployed that afternoon for six months so I had to leave Christy and her new baby Tyla to tend to my own family. After Jason left I packed up the boys and we left the next morning to take a trip of a life time visit family on route to the Grand Canyon. Our trip lasted about 8 weeks and totalled 5,000 miles round trip. When we got back I went to see Christy and her family. I was so excited to see Tyla. As I held her Christy told me that she was having a hard time and was still thinking that it would be best if I adopted Tyla.

To make a long story short I will tell you that I spent the next year in limbo over the adoption. We couldn't get the birth father to sign over his rights. I spent nearly everyday with Christy and Tyla and she went back and forth about what she wanted. I cried nearly every night over being strung along desperately wanted a decision to be made. I felt that I couldn't step out of the situation as long as I could be a Christian influence to her. I tought her how to be a better mom and how to keep the house clean and budget her bills. Even if we didn't adopt Tyla I felt like I needed to do everything I could to make sure she had the best life that Christy could offer her. Over that year I learned the true meaning of, "not my will but thine be done". Sometimes life can be hard. Sometimes it can be excruciatingly painful. I learned that serving God for His glory doesn't always mean it is for the better of myself in the worldly physical way. A week before Tyla's 1st birthday I pinned Chrisy down and told her that we were moving and had to have an answer. We couldn't wait any longer. She told us she was going to keep her. My heart was broken. I went to Tyla's birthday party the next week and said goodbye to her and left with empty arms. I couldn't believe what had happened over that year. To me walking in faith is to follow God even when it hurts. To follow Him no matter where he sends me. God has called us to love. He doesn't ask us to guard our hearts. Sometimes we have to love through the hardest of situations and through the greatest of pain. It is through this love that God will be glorified. Through our pain He will shine.

I didn't talk to Christy after that for 5 years. Just a few weeks ago I found her on facebook and sent her a message. She then called me and we talked for an hour. She is doing really well. She is working two good jobs and has learned to budget her money. Her kids are both in school now and are thriving. She thanked me for all that I had taught her. Most importantly she thanked me for teaching her how to love her baby girl that she didn't even want. She attends church with her kids and has hopes and dreams of continuing to be a follower of Christ and to be a great mom. Praise God!