Puzzle Pieces

In the middle of the night I held in my arms a very good friend. Her heart was shattered after delivering her stillborn baby and there were no words that could comfort her. We prayed together, at times allowing the Holy Spirit to interpret through our tears and groans. She couldn't understand how she could become pregnant so easily and deliver three healthy children and then all of a sudden with no reason she can't carry a baby past twenty weeks. I couldn't give her a good answer. I drove home with my heart broken for her. At this time I was still waiting to adopt Tyla but knew in my heart that it probably wouldn't happen. I had already poured over verses about God's love, peace and comfort. I had also recently come across a verse that screamed at me to know and understand it. Isaiah 61:1 He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. Jesus is the great physician, the one who set me free.

The next morning I read over the scriptures in Job. It was the only place I could imagine there would be answers. My dear friend had done nothing wrong. She was a wonderful, faithful woman who had been afflicted. Much like Job she wanted to know why. In verses 38-42 God and Job have a conversation. I have always imagined my conversation between God and I would go much differently. Now I am not so sure that I am ready for such a conversation. Job questions God and God replies out of a storm. He starts by asking where Job was during creation when the earth was formed and boundaries were set. Was he there to count the months before the mountain goats give birth to their fawn. Could he bring forth the lightening bolts and rain? Does he give wisdom to the heart and knowledge to the mind? Does the hawk take flight by his wisdom and soar at his command? Job replies that God can do all things and His plan cannot be stopped.

While there is devastation around me there is comfort in knowing that I am not the one in control. I do not know what is best for me or anyone else. God knows the future of my dear friend and will provide for her what she needs and the life He wants for her. God will provide the same thing for Christy and her family. He knows Tyla's future and He will put her exactly where she needs to be. This moment in time is only a puzzle piece in time. With the help from God I can put together the pieces of my past to see a picture that becomes a little more clear everyday. As for my future, those puzzle pieces are in God's hands. I will trust that he will give them to me when I am ready.